Swine Flu: World Is Going To The Pigs
It is official now, WHO has declared swine flu a pandemic. So it is a time to be afraid; be very afraid.
Originating in the central America, the flu has flown to Europe, Australia and even Asia. This means you, me and Dupree all should be abstaining from indulging in pork. Also, since human to human transmission is possible, it is best to stop the influx of people from abroad to our country altogether. While the former might be a tad impracticable, the latter is as easy as telling Raj Thakkaray to beat up people at airports and send them back, tails between their legs, to their respective countries to stop ‘bad western influence’.
With an ominous sounding name H1N1, the virus has thousands sneezing, humans as well as swine. So, does it kill? Er…not exactly but yes people have died because of it, but then they would have died had they contracted the lowly human flu too. So what is the USP of the disease? The answer would be the fancy virus name. “I’ve viral infection” sounds mundane but “I have been infected by H1N1” sounds so much more upmarket (sounds more like the H1 US visa). Besides, it makes it easier for people to believe your fancy stories of being foreign return.
So the next time you hear someone sneeze, don’t say: “May God Bless You”, say: “go roll in mud.” And till then my dear friends will have to make a pass at the Hard Rock Cheese Ham Burgers. Good for me.
Ashwin Mehendale
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[image courtesy: http://tinyurl.com/nhvoul]
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